Review - If/Then

Even though I've closed the door on last season, when a ticket to If/Then made itself available to me last week, I jumped at the chance.  I'm always eager to check out new musicals and I'm a huge fan of the creators' last musical, Next to Normal.  And so it was last Thursday that I headed to the Richard Rodgers Theatre to check out If/Then...

To back up a tiny bit, if you're wondering why it has taken me so long to report on If/Then (I generally turn my reviews around in a day or two), I believe that someone at the Richard Rodgers Theatre gave me a freaking cold.  Or maybe the guy that delivered my lunch that day.  All I know is, I was perfectly fine when I arrived at my office Thursday morning.  After lunch, I had itchy eyes and some sneezing, so I thought at first I was having some sort of allergic reaction to my lunch.  During If/Then, I ran out of kleenex trying to keep up with my drippy nose (sorry, tmi) and it didn't have to do with my crying or anything.  By the time I got home Thursday night, I was a mess.  I spent Friday at home (and I very rarely take sick days) and was on my couch basically the whole weekend.  So, if someone in the restroom at the Richard Rodgers Theatre left their cold germs around, shame on you.  More anti-bacterial cleaner, if you please.

OK.  Sorry for germ talk.  Just providing a little context (and looking for some sympathy, lol).  I'm happy to be feeling a little better today, after practically ODing on Advil cold & sinus all weekend, not to mention ingesting tons of vitamin C pills/orange juice.  But my brain could still be a little fuzzy, and it's not being helped by the fact that the a/c is off in my office today.  Oh and today is the first day of Wimbledon, so distraction is the word of the day.  If this review makes even less sense than usual, at least you've been warned...

Moving on.  If/Then.  I'm sure you've all heard the conceit of the show - in the first scene, a young woman named Elizabeth meets two friends in the park.  She chooses to accompany one, but wonders what might've happened if she had chosen to accompany the other.  The rest of the show shows the result of both choices, in (basically) alternating scenes.  One choice (she is called Liz) pretty much emphasizes romantic satisfaction with no career satisfaction, and the other (she is called Beth) emphasizes career success with no romantic success.  At first, this seemed to be a bit sexist to me, but as the show unfolded, I guess I gave up being disgruntled about it since the inherent sexism was sort of explored.  Ish.

I did reasonably enjoy myself at If/Then - it has very good performances, with attractive music and it definitely had some plot points in the second act that I wasn't expecting, but it did feel like rather a slog to get there.  I felt like the first act was WAY too long, going back and forth, when it just seemed they were saying the same thing over and over again.  The second act settled down more and dealt with consequences instead of setting up challenges, so that was more satisfying to me, I guess.


photo credit: Joan Marcus

What must it be like to be Idina Menzel?  My goodness, she engendered a lot of love in that theater.  People were SCREAMING for her.  I guess I missed the zeitgeist of Rent and Wicked.  I mean, I like her and boy, can she belt.  She was good in If/Then - she definitely has a way with a one-liner and her belting was great.  But it was very one-note and her portrayals of both Liz and Beth were the same prickly, overly analytic, and borderline annoying character.  Everybody ADORES Liz/Beth and I didn't see why.  You would think that different choices would've emphasized different character traits, even in the same woman, but that isn't how the show was played.  That could be inherent in the writing and couldn't be overcome by the actor, I guess, but...I wonder.



photo credit: Joan Marcus

LaChanze was delightful and she did find different character traits in the different scenarios of her life.  She is just a star and lights up every stage she's on.  People need to write shows for her, stat.  Jerry Dixon did what he could with an underwritten role, Anthony Rapp just sort of seemed to be playing Mark from Rent, and I saw the understudy for the romantic interest.  His name is Charles Hagerty and I thought he was great.  Handsome, funny and a great singer.  The real deal.  I hope to see more of him (though, I'm sorry to say out loud, he seemed a little young for Idina Menzel, at least from my vantage point in the last row of the mezz). 

The music didn't seem to be as distinctive to me as the score to Next to Normal.  Even though I thought what the songs were trying to say was interesting most of the time, they did seem to repeat themselves, both lyrically and musically.  In the second act, Idina has three or four big belty solos in a row and they all sort of blended together for me.  I don't know.  I guess all the back and forth just exhausted me.  And I wasn't moved, even with the unexpected plot twists at the end.  Having said all that, maybe I just wasn't completely enraptured with If/Then because of that stupid developing head cold.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, I sat behind a man with the biggest head known to man.  I don't think they're the only reasons, but I guess I'll never know...