The light at the end of the tunnel seems so far off...

So I had my last 'fill' yesterday at Dr Vera Wang's office (I'm ever so glad I have pre-existing nicknames for all of my doctors--best to keep things anonymous!), and set the date for my exchange surgery.  But I have to wait two months for the exchange.  Two more months of wearing the expanders.  Two more months of sleeping sitting straight up.  Two more months of feeling like I'm in a metal corset.  Two more months of button-up shirts.  Sigh.  I've already been filled with 500 cc's, which doesn't seem quite enough, when I look at myself, but I know that I can't do another fill.  The doctor thought maybe I should have one more to help with the 'shape,' but I said no.  Though I could change my mind before the surgery in June, I guess.

I know the way I look now is not necessarily the way I'll look after the exchange--the expanders sort of take up a lot more room than the implants, so it looks more like a twelve-year-old pudgy boy's chest than mine.   I suppose I could get fitted for a new bra now, instead of waiting until after the exchange.  Maybe that would give me a little more normalcy.  But I do find the surgical bra comforting at the moment.  Physically and emotionally comforting.  I keep telling myself that if I lose fifteen or twenty pounds, I'll look more proportioned.  But it's getting harder and harder for me to lose weight without vigorous exercise and I'm not supposed to exercise vigorously yet.  So I sit and eat comfort food, which I'm sure doesn't help anything.

In lieu of comfort food last night, I took myself to the revival of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying."  I had a grand time, even with the discomfort of a skinny seat and a well-fed next-door-seat-neighbor who kept invading my personal space.  Daniel Radcliffe is ADORABLE!  He is a delightful song and dance man, with a charming wink to the audience.  OK, his singing is not going to make you forget Brian Stokes Mitchell and he's no Gene Kelly in the dance department, but he's so darn charming and delightful, you just don't care.  The whole is greater than the sum of its parts (or however that saying goes).  And by the time you get to "Brotherhood of Man," you are so rooting for this kid (the character AND the actor), you're just grinning like an idiot.  At least I was.  Plus, may I say he was also totally delightful in the Broadway Cares pitch after the show.  Super adorable.

 

The whole cast is excellent.  I thought John Larroquette was very funny as Biggley--he had some hysterical line readings and played very well off Radcliffe.  They actually had terrific chemistry, even in their post-show stuff.  Rose Hemingway is very good as Rosemary, though not quite as quirky and fun as Megan Mullaly was in the last revival.  This gal plays it more in the old-fashioned ingenue type, which was fine and she was quite cute.  The kid playing Bud Frump went in a totally different direction than the usual Frump, but he was funny.  Tammy Blanchard was a riot as Hedy LaRue.  Thumbs way up from me.  In fact, I may need to see it again, just to see "Brotherhood of Man" again.  I read a review somewhere where the reviewer said they wanted to rewind that number and watch it again--that's how I felt too.  Shows that make you feel good are so few and far between.  If I could see this show and "La Cage" a few more times before June 20, maybe I'll feel a little lighter and better about the whole thing...