Acknowledging My Biases

quote from Marsha Norman about gender disparity in the theater

I have mentioned before that I'm trying to be more conscious about where I spend my theater dollars - I'm trying to support as many women and writers of color as I possibly can.  One, I want to prove to the community and to producers that people will buy tickets to these shows.  Two, these writers generally tell stories that are new to me, in ways that are new to me.  Three, I'm increasingly bothered by seeing so much art presented through a white male gaze.  Geez, I can hardly believe I just typed that sentence.  I never actually thought of it so starkly before.  Maybe I'm just finally breaking free of something, I don't know.  Or maybe I'm just going off some sort of artistic deep end.  I'm not sure if that way of thinking is why last night's theater excursion didn't ultimately appeal to me, but it's something I'm pondering.  I totally acknowledge that these biases are on me and not on the creators of art, but they're something I'm trying to come to terms with.  Maybe I have so much pent up angst about other things that these new ideas needs to work themselves out somehow.  We'll see if I can figure this out while I talk about the show I saw last night...

I was very fortunate to be given free tickets to the new musical Alice By Heart.  I didn't think I would be able to see it, since it sold out pretty quickly.  The writing team is the pair that wrote Spring Awakening, which I greatly enjoyed, and it's based on Alice in Wonderland, which is of course a much-loved story from my childhood.  I didn't really read anything about the show beforehand, though I did have the sense that it didn't get great reviews (which doesn't ever really matter to me, I just note it).  But I was excited to go to a new theater space, see a new musical, and spend time with a handsome pal.  

MCC's new theater space is lovely, though ohmygod, getting all the way over there on a sore foot (that's a story for another day) was quite a slog.  As I generally tell it, it's like walking to New Jersey.  But the theater itself is very modern and attractive and the staff is extra-pleasant (the concessions gent was especially delightful).  The set for Alice By Heart is fantastic and I enjoyed looking around at everything before the show started.  If I live to be 200, I will never not get a thrill of being in a theater, looking around and getting myself into the spirit of discovery.  And being at a new show just ups the excitement and anticipation.  Unfortunately, that spirit of discovery and excitement lasted for maybe the first 20 minutes or so of the show.

I hate to be negative, but Alice By Heart didn't come together for me.  I did think the idea of setting this show in London during the 1940s/WW2 was fascinating, and the idea of children afraid during the Blitz turning to books to take their minds away from their fears was also meaningful.  Well, actually, I guess they weren't children, but teens, because sexual awakening was on the menu.  I don't know, sometimes it felt as if the team was trying to just replicate Spring Awakening, but you can't catch that lightning in a bottle twice, I don't think.

photo credit: Deen Van Meer

Anyway, I did think the opening number was lovely, with the idea of all of the bad things were happening "west of words" and how throwing yourself into a beloved book could save you, but then they fell out of that storytelling almost right away and Alice began to veer off into sort of throwing herself at her best friend, Alfred, who also was the White Rabbit when the cast started acting out the story of Alice in Wonderland.  Then the musical became about something else.  I mean, it was still a coming-of-age story, I guess, but there was also some clunky sexual undertones as well.  I suppose I can intellectualize why the show should've worked for me, but it ultimately didn't.  Which I think I can also intellectualize...

The songs were mainly lovely, though rather inert - they didn't really drive the story, they just painted a picture.  Which can be fine for a number or two, but it felt as if all the songs did that.  The libretto seemed a little crude to me as well, so...I don't know.  Maybe this musical needed more development to hone its rough edges.  I thought the cast was overcompensating for the holes and, at times, seemed to be a little smug and defensive, as if they were telling the audience that if we didn't like the show, it's because we weren't cool enough to understand it.  I know that's completely projecting, but it's what I felt.  They were all very accomplished, but even in a fantastical story such as Alice, honesty and truth and, well, less is more.

The physical production was quite good and they used the stage, lights, and costumes to great effect.  There were some striking stage pictures that I was totally taken with, I just wish I had been as taken with the story and the storytelling.  And that's where I wonder if it's just that these stories have played out for me by now.  Even though there was a female co-librettist, I still felt the male gaze throughout.  Alice, as a female, was being too emotional and irrational, and the level-headed young man had to set her straight.  She did have a song about how she was the one making the book happen, but it still seemed as if she was reacting instead of acting.  And, again, maybe I don't need to see that type of storytelling right now.  I'm having a hard time articulating what I really mean, and I know who-tells-what-story is none of my business.  Anyone has the right to tell a story, but I also have the right to not respond to it.  I still feel the thrill and the excitement at the anticipation, but maybe during this time of my life (and the world in general), I have more need than ever to hear and respond to stories outside of myself.  To find empathy and connection with all the people not like me.  It's an interesting notion I'm turning around in my brain - we'll see how these ideas play out over the next few months.  I'll keep you posted.